If you are anything like other people, we didn’t intend to be addicts. It just happened to us or so we say. Exposure to our addiction may have started as curiosity. It may have given us a rush of pleasure or relaxation. Whatever the feeling, it was something special for us. That something special is why we kept going back for more all the while becoming more and more addicted. Did we intend to fall into this hole that would consume so much time and energy? No, most of us didn't, but we are here and the daily bad behavior is what we hope you are here to overcome.
Anyone with a severe behavior to change is going to be challenged to make positive change alone, but most of us feel shame, anger or sadness when considering to tell another.
Now you may not be ready to tell someone you know about your problem and so perhaps you should reach out to a stranger, but someone who knows about your problem. There are support groups across the globe that help people with each of the many addictions. There are even online groups and phone lines. I encourage you to take that step. Reach out to a stranger and you will find great strength. They get the problem and they are committed to their own recovery and yours too. The process is really quite therapeutic as you vocalize what you have kept secret for so long. It is not the end-all but each hand hold as you climb out of the hole of negative behaviors or addiction is a move in the right direction.
For now, the first step should be an anonymous outreach and then you will get the courage to reach out to others. You will need others and they will be there for you. Trust that you and your support group can get through this. Help is available.